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It all fell apartwhen the money stopped rolling in. The bickering between my wife and Ibecame constant. Everything became my fault. Add to that, I couldn'tlook myself in the eye when I looked in the mirror. I started to believemy wife when she started to call me a failure." That doesn't explain the cross-dressing." I tried to become someone else. I tried the ponytail and the beard, butstill saw the person that I grew to hate." I spoke without making eyecontact."So you decided to cross-dress, and now you like yourself?" I wish that it was as simple as that." I'm still waiting," she said with concern and encouragement."I started reading the works of Alan Watts. ?The Way of Zen,' ?Tao, TheWatercourse Way,' and ?Taoism: Way Beyond Seeking,'" I said, as I beganbroiling the fish."So Zen and Tao caused you to start cross-dressing?" she asked throughlaughter."No, not at all," I said defensively. "Years ago, back in my collegedays, I dated a theatre major. We'd arranged to have dinner after. Katie came home With Bobbie the next afternoon. She was a thin, dark haired girl with a complexion that was pale and vaguely French. She had a wary look in her dark eyes that never left as long as I was with them. They had a quick snack and went out to the stables to saddle horses. The girls rode all over the property, enjoying the freedom and power of the horses. They returned exhausted and happy, cares and troubles forgotten.These afternoon rides became a regular occurrence for two or three afternoons a week. Katie slowly came out of her shell and became almost talkative. She was continuing weekly sessions with a psychologist but I was convinced that the horses should be getting most of the credit.I was swimming laps in the pool one afternoon when Bobbie and Katie came back in from riding. They were sweaty and tired and wanted to cool off in the pool. I made them shower first but soon they arrived squealing and laughing as they tumbled into the refreshing water. I was resting in the.
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